I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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