i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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