I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
