I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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