it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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