are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
