I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
