I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
