i'm signing you up for texting rehab
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
