we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
