If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
