I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
