He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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