Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Randomize
