this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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