He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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