he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I lost the right to judge tonight
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
