I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
