He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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