I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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