I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
