Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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