I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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