HIV tests are more positive than that guy
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
