yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
40s are totally the cure
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
