im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
