I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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