okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
