He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
