I want to stick my p in your. b.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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