How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
