Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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