If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Someone shattered a urinal.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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