Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize