So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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