why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
