You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize