My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
