My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
