Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
No...this little piggys going to the bar
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize