i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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