We need to rekindle our bromance
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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