There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
false alarm, still single
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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