I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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