The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
