I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
