Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
