you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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