every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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