There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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