Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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