You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Someone shattered a urinal.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
