Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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