i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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