Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize