I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
