I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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